They were all little boys at heart

They were all little boys at heart.There was plenty of sexuality lapping round the Royal Albert Hall, too, at the 1994 Equality Show put on by Stonewall, the gay pressure group, with Sir Ian McKellen as Master of Ceremonies.Sheboom were first on, an astonishing all-woman troupe of drummers whose thunderous hammering filled the place like some joyous primal ritual, their faces flushed and giddy.Next came Melissa Etheridge, who last year declared her lesbianism with her album Yes I Am. She performed a tremulous version of ‘Maggie May’, the Rod Stewart classic, perfect in her husky voice, and adding a Sapphic twist to the ballad of a love affair with an older woman.P P Arnold, star of the musical Once on this Island, sang ‘Human Heart’, the song which has become the HIV anthem in the United States, with sumptuous backing vocals from the cast of the show. Then came Alison Moyet, belting out a magnificent version of the Jacques Brel song, ‘Ne me quittes pas’, her voice soaring in operatic splendour.The real attractions, however, were Elton John and Sting. John performed a new song, ‘Believe’, before being joined by Etheridge for the hymn-like ‘Don’t let the sun go down on me’. He proceeded to crystallise the spirit of the evening, donning a fancy waistcoat and a string of pearls for a version of ‘I feel pretty’, a song which hardly needs camping up.Sting stuck to his hits, with a jazzy version of ‘Englishman in New York’ and, together with Etheridge, a singalong ‘Every Breath You Take’ which climaxed in a fine state of abandonment. Finally he sang ‘Big Spender’ to Elton, before coquettishly baring his chest in a gesture that suggested an apology for not being gay.What distinguished the Equality Show was the fervour in the auditorium.

With everyone seeming to know everyone else, it was like a particularly exuberant works outing. By the end, as the balloons came down and the entire bill gathered on stage, it was like being bathed in blissful warmth, the Albert Hall a huge jacuzzi of love.Precious little love was to be had at the Union Chapel in Islington, where a burning question was answered: what happens to anarchists when they grow up?Bursting forth in 1978 from an Epping commune in the echo of punk’s big bang, Crass established squatters’ rights at the radical end of pop’s (admittedly simple-minded) political spectrum. As the cacophony of no-future nihilism raged, they seemed to have exclusive rights to a vision of Utopia.They split 10 years ago once the original fire had dampened, most of the members going to ground.Now a few Crass old-timers have made their contribution to the Anarchy in the UK Festival, with a performance of Penny Rimbaud’s ‘The Death of Imagination’ at the Union Chapel, Islington. Based on his Reality Asylum recording, it explores the politics of sex and the body, the unbridgeable gulf between lust and conformity.It was as much a theatre piece as a musical event, with Rimbaud, Eve Libertine and Johnny Sharian reading or declaiming (in Brechtian sprechtgesang) such glorious lines as ‘Our thoughts stay unscathed in the vortex of blades’ and ‘Thunder is the spoken diagnosis’ over a discordant cello and acoustic guitar Perhaps I was missing the point. After such an arcane and rigorous evening it was odd to see these erstwhile revolutionaries air-kissing like proper luvvies.Elton John, Royal Albert Hall, 071-589 8212, 27,28,30 Nov, 1,3-5, 7-8, 10-12 Dec. Anarchy in the UK Festival, The Robey, London N4, 071-263 4581, tonight.. THE last ‘Making and Meaning’ exhibition at the National Gallery was the popular show devoted to the Wilton Diptych and its place in early English life and art.

I doubt whether the new exhibition in the series, ‘The Young Michelangelo’, will have the same appeal. Michelangelo (1475-1564) has many qualities, but few people have ever found him lovable and the display in the Sainsbury Wing’s basement is rather severe, especially in its treatment of Michelangelo’s marvellous Entombment: one would like to be on intimate terms with this picture, while at the moment it’s held away from us on an excessively hierarchical pedestal. The National Gallery owns two of the three panel paintings normally given to Michelangelo, and this is one of them. They are at the centre of an exhibition which is also interesting for its sculpture At the NG there are, in all, seven three-dimensional works Two are called Sleeping Cupid. One is 16th-century Italian, the other Roman from the first or second century AD A Pieta from a south Netherlandish artist is in alabaster.

As Allen’s breath rasped on the soundtrack you felt his terror at being alone with nature rising up like milk on the boil.. He doesn’t like the Indiana Jones label which has been attached to him by his marketing men, but he is undeniably game – in England he showed you his torso, covered with scarification marks, the souvenir of a previous excursion. He’s little more than exasperated with the accountant who robs him blind, and the driver who makes off with the petty cash (he’s having a bad week). You get the feeling that the exclamation mark key on Don Webb’s typewriter is slightly more polished and concave than the others.Chris Ellison (formerly of The Bill) is good at being pike-lipped and wily, but he has some difficulty in persuading you that he is one of nature’s gentlemen – a pike who escorts the little chicks across the pond rather than biting their legs off. Ellington (ITV) ends with a toast – ‘Here’s to us. Payes has also received generous private donations, including one woman who paid for a whole week’s course for one group.

Each Brathay course costs pounds 2,500 per group, raised by sponsorship from local companies. Her opera Plague Mass points the finger at a hypocritical clergy who interpret ‘the epidemic’ as divine retribution. As she talks of empathy and loss, her face and voice soften and her gesticulations slow down. I’m deeply disappointed by my sexual interest in men.’The Sporting Life is largely a sadistic fantasy of what Galas would like to do with men. We also infer that this shallowness encouraged Michelangelo to show his mastery over previous relief sculpture – and painting too. The four sculptures by Michelangelo do not come directly from his hand and chisel but are casts, two relatively modern and two from the late 19th century.