It will have to be a bad one

“It will have to be a bad one.”All this manipulation, all designed to get one’s own children to the front of the queue. It speaks of the most terrible insecurity, the most awful lack of confidence in their children’s ability to grow and thrive and be happy. Ms Phillips goes so far as to declare that “Ministers assume that the reason such [disadvantaged] students don’t go to university is discrimination. It doesn’t occur to these insulated snobs that many young people may prefer to get a job instead”. Which, if true, means that these changes will make no difference to the status quo whatsoever, and no people at private schools will actually have to make way for the “disadvantaged” at all.These odd flights of fancy, whereby the champions of Middle England contradict themselves again and again are conspicuous throughout their arguments. They really see themselves as the disadvantaged, and the actual disadvantaged as the people who are having everything. The result is that their own arguments end up speaking out for exactly what it is they are criticising.Mr Utley suggests that in general, “the middle classes are the most economically productive and the most law-abiding.

The more of us, the merrier for the Treasury and for the wellbeing of rich and poor alike”. The fact that they are so fearful suggests only that they’re not as bright as they like to think they are.d.orr independent.co.uk
More from Deborah Orr. Continuing our advice column on what to do if you feel your business is threatened by potential terrorist or military action

Continuing our advice column on what to do if you feel your business is threatened by potential terrorist or military action
Do you think Iraq will really attack Britain?If I were a bookie, I would say the odds were 1,000 to one against. Iraq has never ever attacked Britain in the history of the world Never Ever.

On the other hand, Britain has attacked Iraq, or invaded Iraq, on several occasions, even though Iraq presented no threat to us at the time. So going merely by the form book, I would say that they have more to fear from us than vice versa.Well, forgetting Iraq, will al-Qa’ida attack British targets?The one thing that unites all al-Qa’ida strikes is their element of surprise They depend utterly on mounting a surprise attack. Now, at the moment everyone is expecting an al-Qa’ida attack on London So if al-Qa’ida attacks, it will not be a surprise attack Therefore it is most unlikely that al-Qa’ida will attack. Because they do not make expected attacks.So they won’t make an attack on London?No.Phew!But on Salisbury, yes.What!?Well, nobody is expecting an attack on a sleepy cathedral city. So maybe…But surely everyone is making plans to get out of London and set up emergency HQs in the country?Yes In places such as Salisbury.You mean…?That’s it. Al-Qa’ida will wait until everyone has relocated to Salisbury and then, bang!Bomb Salisbury?No.

Bomb Reading.Reading? Why Reading?Because if al-Qa’ida has a secret merger with English Heritage, English Heritage will persuade al-Qa’ida to attack somewhere that we can afford to lose on heritage and historical grounds.But what makes you think that English Heritage and al-Qa’ida have merged?It makes a lot of business sense. They have the same fundamentalist ideals, harking back to a mythical past. They both operate clandestinely, both have small movable cells, both have secret funding, and both move under cover of darkness and do their dirty work before anyone knows what is going on.Yes, but al-Qa’ida is a closed society.Do you know anyone who works for English Heritage?No, I don’t actually.Quite. Think about it.But what about the rumour that there are, in fact, no threats to Britain? And that it has all been secretly put about by a government that needs to whip up support for its war aims? So it occupies Heathrow suddenly with troops and tanks and makes everyone feel jittery, even though there is no known threat to anywhere?Don’t be silly Those tanks and guns weren’t meant to protect passengers. They were meant to protect the Government.The Government? Where does it come into the Heathrow scenario?Oh, the Cabinet is temporarily housed out there in a safe haven.